Monday, September 18, 2006

Living well is the best revenge

I use this quote by George Herbert so often it might as well be my motto. Actually I used to misquote it as ' The best revenge is to live well' until one sleepless stupid o'clock in the morning, with injustice on my mind, I googled it and found out where it actually came from.
I'm not sure whether I need to explain how I read this quote, after all what matters about a text, in my humble opinion, is how each individual interprets it. Suffice to say though, that I don't consider 'living well' to mean eating from gold plates and sleeping between satin sheets.
I think I first began to consider the concept of living well while I was still at school and irritated by those who were effortlessly popular and pretty. With hindsight I was able to say to my own growing up daughter when faced with the same frustrations, 'Well, just picture them in 10 years time. They may seem to have the upper hand, and all the attention, now, but which of you is going to go farther, them or you?' I didn't mean it in an unkind way, it's just that we can often lose sight of our own gifts when faced with such 'obvious' talents.
Later in life, when faced with slights, bullying, unfairness, injustice and intolerance it has been tempting to give in to murderous thoughts. It's difficult to resist the desire to poke someone in the eye, rant at the top of my voice, let the air out of their tyres, throw a brick through their window, watch them die slowly and painfully, hurt them as much as they've hurt me, but the trouble is that to act on that would not only be immoral, it would also not achieve anything and actually result in diminishing me. To actively and openly react to the provocation, however justified I felt, would have brought nothing new and useful to the situation. It's much more difficult, but ultimately more worthwhile and wholesome to one's own sense of self, to metaphorically lift your chin and stride on (and over). To keep your integrity intact and carry on living by your own principles, achieving in a small way every day, watching those you love grow brighter and happier and knowing that that is much more important that transient point-scoring, even when you know damned well you're in the right, is not only a good thing to do, it's the best thing. It's a bit like a home made cake. The most important thing is that you made it, no one else. And no one else could do it quite the way you did.

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