Doing different

Whilst watching a tv programme on unassisted birth, (Extraordinary People: Outlaw births) I started to think about the parallels between unassisted birth and unschooling. I know I was supposed to be thinking 'Oh look at those strange people, putting themselves and their babies at risk by turning their back on the medical profession' but being fairly literate media-wise, and having taken part in a similar documentary ('Honey I suckle the kids'. That title sucks. Literally) I ignored the obvious bias and just watched the mothers talking and followed their stories.

Like unschoolers, or autonomous home educators, these mothers were following their own instincts, trusting their bodies and their babies and arming themselves with enough knowledge to cope with most eventualities. The process would probably scare the pants off most people (in the case of unassisted birth and unschooling) but the results spoke for themselves. You only had to look at the faces of the mothers and the body language of the newborns to see that both had come through an incredible experience. In one case the mother was in labour for only two hours and was exceptionally quiet throughout.

I suppose that for birth there is a kind of half way house, that is a midwife attending a home birth, which we did three times as a family, but I just couldn't think of an equivalent in terms of education. You either have the hospital birth/ send your child to school or the unassisted birth at home/ home education. There is nothing in between, no 'midwife' attending to help you through if anything 'goes wrong'. However the more I thought about it, I realised that the comparison doesn't work, for this part at least. We the parents are the midwives of home education. We are the ones with the expertise. We know our children and we make sure that each child gets exactly what he or she needs from the experience.

It is also quite a private experience, in both cases. No one really sees us 'educating' our children. We go out and mix with all kinds of people, but there is really no one else in our house (or walking round with us ) examining what we do, checking our pulse or our blood pressure, telling us when to push or not (I'm getting into the medical analogy now). Occasionally someone makes an attempt to tick their boxes by ensuring that we are indeed in labour/ educating our children otherwise than by attendance at school, but for the most part we are left to get on with it without interference.

I guess alot of people would see either stance as being quite arrogant or foolhardy. Who are we to question the received wisdom of birthing in hospital or sending our children at school? Who do we think we are, believing that tried and tested methods of birthing or schooling don't apply to us and our children? After all a lot of teachers/midwives spent ages in training and a lot of educatonal theorists/obstetricians spent years honing their skills so that teachers/ midwives could be taught exactly what works in a classroom setting/ hospital birth. There, though, is the rub. These methods may well 'work' in schools and hospitals, but things are different at home. The methodology is different. And what we do works for us.

There is also no predictable way to do it. Each birth/ child is different, and no one can predict how it will turn out. I suppose it comes down to a deep conviction that what you are doing is right for your child(ren) and your family, and the only way we can tell that we're doing the 'right' thing is by the way it feels. For the most part, with us, it feels just fine. There are a few pangs along the way, a few false starts, a few shifts of position, the odd scary moment and, as in labour, I do get to the point when I feel I can't take it any more. That of course is a very important moment in childbirth/ home education, because you know you're about to see the fruits of your labour.