Celebrating what IS

It may take me a while but sometimes I do 'catch myself on'. I reread my last post and realised there was a lesson in it for me. I had a feeling it was there all along and that I'd find it eventually. I bemoaned the fact that one of my close relatives is finding it hard to accept life as it is. That's when it struck me that that is exactly what I need to be doing: seeing life as it is and celebrating everything that I have in my life every day.

I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend, my gentle and honest critic, my support through hard times and the best possible person to accompany me on my journey through life.

I have four amazing children, three daughters and a son, not bad going for someone who never considered herself as being particularly maternal. It just goes to show that parethood is something that can be learnt, and my children have taught me everything I know.

Our eldest daughter is a constant source of pride and hope. She has come through some incredible challenges in her life, not least of which was having a young and inexperienced mother. She has found a way to truly be herself and is now carving out a life for herself studying something she is passionate about and achieving amazing things with her tenacity, wisdom and hard work. She is one of the most compassionate people I know, always there to lend a hand or a shoulder to others in need and whilst we don't live in each other's pockets, she is always willing to listen and talk when things get tough.

Our son is a sensitive, intelligent and caring young man. He has taught himself so much in his eleven years. He taught himself to read at the age of six and ever since he has followed his interests and learnt, and taught others, so much about the things that fire his enthusiasm. He has an amazing way with younger children and I am certain that he will make a fabulous dad one day. He finds it easy, despite his natural reticence, to mix with people of all ages, and his infectious sense of humour is a constant source of joy, and occasional puzzlement.

Our middle daughter is bright, funny, uncompromising and courageous. She wrings every ounce of fun out of any given situation. She is a natural performer, and is unstinting in her desire to try out new things and  push herself to creative heights. Her pride in herself earlier this month when she performed in the local amateur dramatic group's play was a joy to behold. It was not just her own performance which gave her such pleasure, it was her ability to enjoy the entire experience and appreciate how difficult some of the accompanying challenges were, such as getting to the stage on time and being really quiet, often for long periods, when she was not on stage.

Our youngest daughter is cute, feisty, fierce and imaginative. She is loves animals of all kinds and has an instinctive understanding of their needs, and of how much fun they are to be around. She has learnt how to hold her own in a busy family and has found her voice in times when it is difficult to make yourself heard. She views the world as an amazing place, full of things to observe and learn from. Her imagination and rich inner life enable her to create incredible stories with her 'little people' (small toy figures) and the worlds that she creates for them are full of depth and meaning.

Our labrador puppy Charlie is growing well and we are all learning, under his careful tuition, how to be the best pack leaders. Although he is full of mischief and energy he is maturing at an alarming rate and has settled down such a lot in the last few months, or maybe it's that he no longer needs to shout at us in order to show us what to do. His loyalty and steadfastness are amazing to witness. He is so closely attached to us that he will not venture far from us despite the fascinating things going on around him. Now, if he could just temper his youthful, friendly exuberance and greet people with a waggy tale and a huge doggy smile instead of trying to climb up them, that'd be just about perfect.

And so to me. What is my reality? What is the IS where I am concerned? Beware, there will probably be a bit of personal-trumpet-blowing here. Well, I'm learning to trust my instincts a lot more. I'd love to be wise, and I'm working on it. I'm generous, caring, willing to learn from others, from life and from myself. I am fiercely loyal and loving, and willing to hang in there when others have long since given up. I face difficult times and people with trepidation but with fortitude, and always try to give of my best, especially when others don't seem to deserve it. I pride myself on my authenticity and integrity. I try my best not to judge others and to remember that they are on a different journey. I'm not saying I don't have faults, but this is supposed to be a celebration, so my doubts, faults and failings can take a back seat just for now.

I'm intending to take this celebration with me from now on. I caught myself worrying the other day about what we 'should' have been doing during the last month, and it suddenly struck me that life is not what we should be doing but what we are doing. So the 'shoulds' are banished from our life from now on, call it an early New Year's resolution if you like. What matter is what IS.